This is how we win

To begin this week’s newsletter, I need to touch on what we learned is coming from the Supreme Court. Like many of you, I don’t have the right words to fully articulate my anger or the mental capacity to even attempt it. I am sickened by the way women are controlled in this country under the pretexts of privacy, religion, and life. I believe in my heart that even in face of the gravest setbacks, we will continue to fight for our autonomy, respect, and place. Giving up isn’t an option.

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The idea came from a Tweet about lists. Every industry has them. They are meant to celebrate the accomplishments of the young, budding, next generation of leaders. If you are unfamiliar, sometimes spots are paid for, sometimes they are marketing tools, and sometimes they are indeed accomplishments. The Tweet, which criticized the weight we give these lists, posed a great point: it’s fine to celebrate young people who knock it out of the park with few responsibilities and Big Risk Energy. But the most impressive people I know aren’t about that life (at least not anymore). Ambition becomes more dynamic as we have more life to apply it to.

So in the spirit of Mother’s Day—a holiday celebrating the tiny miracles many women work all the time—I asked for your accomplishments. Your wins big and small. Not only wins from mothers or career milestones, but wins about everything worth celebrating that you may not ordinarily acknowledge.

This exercise took some coaxing out of you, which is not a surprise. In fact, some of you asked me to write your wins for you, to which I kindly responded, “That is not the point, friend.” We are not good at this. It’s much easier to diminish our hard work and downplay our successes. Too often, we wait for others to give us permission. We hope to be acknowledged instead of nominating ourselves.

But not today, Satan! Now more than ever, we need to stand in the power of our accomplishments and be proud. So without further ado, here are the ways we win:

As you can see, I didn’t end up creating a list. I wanted readers to visualize the wins side-by-side without any inadvertent bias that one is more valuable than the next. Collectively, they reflect how diverse our accomplishments really are.

You read about my wins all the time, but Our Tiny Rebellions is one of them. A year ago, I sought to create a consistent outlet that isn’t whitewashed in toxic positivity and could reflect the real lifecycle of our emotions as young(ish) women moving through adulthood. I hope to fill our lives with more bravery and self-respect. In my heart, and through you, I know I am accomplishing it.  

To all the mothers reading, Happy Mother’s Day. I hope you get a whole lot of nothing this weekend.

Don’t stop screaming your wins! Comment below, email me, or share this issue and proclaim your wins from the social rooftops.

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Also

As part of this project, I received a submission from Melani Robinson. Ten years ago, she set a goal to be published in The New York Times’ Modern Love section. After several rejections over the course of a decade (oh, do I feel those words deep in my soul), her essay, “From Russia With Mixed Feelings,” made the column last week.